30 Mar Relating to a Ship
I’ve been thinking about relationships a lot lately. I had a conversation with a new friend recently and she commented that from what she knows of me and my work, I should focus my manifesting niche towards relationships. I appreciated her feedback and her insight into who I am and the work I do. It certainly prompted me to think about the link between relationships and manifesting. I joined some Facebook groups about relationships to see what kind of problems people were having and what kind of advice they ask for and I’m not going to sugar coat it: It is heartbreaking in a “driving by a car wreck” kind of way. I know it resonates with me on a personal level because of my own history and the journey I’ve been on for the past 20 years. I see, more than ever, how important it is for me to keep doing the work I’m doing.
Unless you have manifested a life as a self-sustaining hermit completely isolated from the outside world, chances are you have people in your life. Our relationships have a significant effect on the quality and enjoyment of our lives. Tony Robbins always says “The quality of your relationships is the quality of your life” and there’s another quote I use that says “You become who you surround yourself with.” Take a moment to glance back at your life so far… Can you see the connection? When your relationships were going well, how did life feel? When they weren’t, how did it feel then?
There’s a quote that went viral during the pandemic that I think applies to this conversation.
“We are in the same storm, but not in the same boat.”
– Author Unknown
© Barbara Kelley
I used an ocean reference back in my Are you clear? post so I’m going to elaborate on that metaphor now by saying: Life is the ocean, your relationships are the boat, you’re the Captain. This means, you’re not a passenger on the boat, passively going for the ride enjoying the buffet and cocktails. You’re the Captain, responsible for steering the ship and maintaining order. If something goes wrong, you’re the one who goes down with the ship. It’s on you.
I know… You’re already thinking: “But what about them?”
Well, if they read this post, i’ll be talking to them, but for now, i’m talking to you. The choice I offer you is: You can be a passenger, in a passive position of being carried in one direction or another only being able to react to what happens or you can be the Captain, taking responsibility and making proactive decisions that take you to where you want to be.
As a Personal Development Coach, part of the training I offer is how to take full responsibility for your life so you can achieve the results you want. Another part is developing relationship skills that work so that you have solid and supportive relationships in your life.
The relationships in your life play different roles and you want to be able to rely on them to navigate the different areas and phases of your life. The relationship with yourself is the most important ship in your fleet. You spend the most time with yourself. You’re the common denominator in all the different aspects of your life. You want to nurture and deepen your relationship with yourself. Your romantic partnership, if you choose to have one, is crucial to your success. The more compatible you are, and the more trust, respect and acceptance you can infuse into it, the stronger and more supportive it will be. Then, there’s the support fleet: Your friends, family, mentors, coaches, teachers, colleagues and teammates. Be selective about the people you allow to get close to you, choose them carefully. Make sure they align with who you are and where you want to be. You’ve heard the expression: “Season, reason or lifetime” in reference to the people that come into your life. The people who fill these supportive roles may change over time, but as one relationship ends, it leaves room for a new one to begin.
More on relationships in future posts. Visit my Events page for information on a relationship workshop I am hosting this Spring.
Veronica Weston
Personal Development Coach