19 Jun One Date at a Time
The path to finding your partner for a Lifetime Committed Relationship is one date at a time. Dating successfully is a skill that will benefit you in many ways, but many people would prefer to skip it altogether. Here’s the pattern I have observed: They meet someone, they go on a date. If things go well after a few dates, it becomes a relationship. After a while, things aren’t going so well, but it’s a relationship, so they want to try to make it work. Months or years go by, and the relationship ends. They repeat the process again, and again. Some end up feeling depleted from the emotional toll and want to give up on relationships altogether.
When I’m working with someone who is ready to start dating (again), I advise them to start by going on a series of first dates with different people. No, second dates. This is to break the pattern of trying to turn a date into a relationship but this exercise is multi-beneficial. Clients that have taken on this challenge have found:
- Their self-acceptance improves.
- Their dating anxiety diminishes.
- They meet people that aren’t their usual “type”.
- They enjoy new experiences.
- They become more confident.
- They get clear about what they want, and what they don’t want.
- They let go of their scarcity mindset.
- They become more assertive.
- They have more fun.
- They experience more success in the workplace.
- And more…
I ask my clients to keep a journal for their “First Dates Challenge”. Before a date, I ask them to rate their level of anxiety and write about the automatic thoughts they experience. After the date, they come back and write about how it went. Not what happened, but what thoughts and feelings they experienced throughout. This practice serves as a personal check in, being mindful about the experience, but also a chance to reflect and look back on the progress and determine if they are ready to move forward with the next step.
If you’re not interested in dating, or you’re already in a relationship, you can still achieve the benefits listed above by doing a “Meet New People Challenge” and practice similar skills in a platonic context. I personally recovered from severe social anxiety by challenging myself in this manner, through various volunteering and social meetup groups.
Want to know more about how you can apply this challenge to your own life? Book a free 30 minute Introduction Call here.
Veronica Weston
Personal Development Coach