01 Apr Navigating the Waters
As I promised, I am writing more content about relationships as it relates to manifesting the life you want to have. Before I get into more practical concepts I want to expand and elaborate on the Relating to a Ship metaphor so that you know where I’m coming from later when I start to break down the practical steps to creating supportive relationships.
To review, from my last post, I shared a quote that went viral during the pandemic: “We are in the same storm, but not in the same boat.” by an unknown author as I could not verify the source. Within the context of relationships, the storm is life and all of internal and external forces that can challenge us and our relationships. We are all in the same storm because we all experience life’s ups and downs, without exception. Sure, some could argue we are not in the same storm, but comparison is really just a tool of the ego, and that leads to disconnection. Compassion, and knowing we never truly understand what others are experiencing, allows us to practice empathy and build connection. I prefer the second option, so that’s my context here.
We are in the same storm, called life, but we are not in the same boat. For my purposes, our relationships are the boats that navigate us on the waters of life. The relationship is an entity in itself. Like a boat, or ship, it is built and maintained to meet our needs as a human being. To review Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs again, go to my first post here. Not only do healthy relationships provide us with love and belonging, but they also play a role in our physiological and safety needs. It is nearly impossible for one relationship to meet all of those needs, without some being neglected or sacrificed altogether. This is why I presented the concept of a support fleet in the last part of Relating to a Ship. Different relationships to support all your needs in all areas of your life and being selective about the people you allow close to you.
Which brings me to a final distinction I want to make and then I can drop the metaphor and stop talking about boats and ships. Do not mistake the passengers for the ship, and vice versa. The relationship is an entity in itself, to hold yourself and the individual or individuals that are passengers in that relationship. You’re the Captain because it’s your relationship that you are building and maintaining to support your needs and your life. Otherwise, the relationship shouldn’t exist or be a part of your fleet.
What that means is you are mindful about what relationships you need in your life and then you go through a process of selection to identify who the passengers and crew will be within that relationship. As the Captain, it rests on you to interview and clear the right candidates. A lifetime partner, friends, family, your boss, coworkers, teammates… They will all affect the quality of your life. Choose carefully.
More to come…
Veronica Weston
Personal Development Coach